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"I am demonstrating to you the TRUE POWER OF THE IMPERIUM, THROUGH THE USE OF SMALL FLUFFY ANIMALS!"
"Little Kitten" (also known as just Kitten) is the nickname of the Captain-General of the Adeptus Custodes. His true name is not as much unknown, rather no one can be bothered to listen for long enough, as it is an extremely long string of names derived from his various accomplishments. He is a main character and appears alongside the Emperor for most of the series.

TTS Canon Edit

Kitten's origins are unknown, other than that he was grown in a tube under Mount Everest (whom he affectionately calls "Mum Everest"), but what is known is that prior to his election to Captain-General and personal caretaker of the Emperor, he was the one who brought Alicia Dominica to the Emperor's throne room during the Age of Apostasy, in order to convince her that her master Goge Vandire needed to be stopped.

Kitten frequently faces abuse from the Emperor, who hurls out a string of insults at every opportunity. Such insults include "golden banana," and "lipstick-looking brotherfucker." Despite this, Kitten's loyalty to the Emperor is very strong, and it was his idea to give the Emperor the Text-To-Speech device in the first place. As a Custodes, he sees the Emperor as his father figure, having been created from his own DNA. Since then he's been faithfully informing the Emperor of everything that has transpired since his internment, as well as carrying out new orders.

The one order he's been reluctant to carry out is cutting off Roboute Guilliman's life support, which prompted the Emperor to challenge Kitten to a Children's Card Game. After playing a number of overpowered cards, Kitten manages to outwit the Emperor with a technicality and win the game.

He was also apparently the victim of his fellow Custodes' shenanigans, particularly those of Karstodes, Custodisi, and Wamuudes, even in spite of his position. He nearly became as insane as they were, having gone through a phase where he too would run around without his armor on.

Kitten came to the aid of the High Lords during Karamazov's rampage, stating that he too was a High Lord; Kitten told him that his actions were going against the Emperor's will, declaring publicly that the Emperor was back in charge of the Imperium. Refusing to believe him, Karamazov declared the Custodes to be heretics. Kitten was about to order Karamazov to be executed, when the voice of the Emperor intervened and told him to let Karamazov run away.

After trying to stop a freaked-out Magnus from destroying the Emperor's throne room, Kitten made a deal with the other Custodes to give up his position as personal caretaker in exchange for their help. While they failed and Kaldor Draigo instead helped stop Magnus, Kitten still had to honor their agreement, and left the palace in remorse. Magnus tricked Kitten into thinking that the Emperor didn't want him around anyway, which devastated him. However, his loyalty to the Emperor proved too strong to sway him towards Chaos. Magnus backpedaled, suggesting instead that they should try to fix the Imperium on their own, as it was clear that their father's sanity wasn't in good shape. Reluctantly, Kitten joined Magnus.

On the voyage to Nocturne, Kitten proved his decisiveness once again when Tzeentch appeared to try to take back Magnus' soul. Recalling the fact that Tzeentch also plays Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Roulette-Forth Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Strip poker, Kitten thus challenged him to a game for Magnus' soul. Despite Tzeentch's attempts at cheating, Kitten once again defeated his opponent by believing in the Spleen of the Cards. Despite this, his armor had become silver instead of gold, much to his disappointment.

Personality Edit

Kitten is very mild-mannered for a Custodes, being very polite and concientious as opposed to the typically stoic and dour demeanor associated with Custodes from the official canon. He will cheerfully greet the Emperor in the morning with a fresh cup of tea before getting blasted by a psychic lightning bolt, as is often the case. Kitten is also quite intelligent, as his fellow Custodes suspected that he spent a significant amount of time studying in the Black Library.

While normally calm and cheerful, there have been times when Kitten's composure has cracked. In particular, he loathes the Tau, claiming that they are an especially disgraceful xenos race for various reasons. The Emperor suspects, however, that the real reason Kitten hates the Tau is because Commander Shadowsun broke up with him. Suggesting that they should adopt Tau-like stratagems causes Kitten to become enraged and start screaming in cockney.

Kitten may in fact be a masochist, because when threatening to send Kitten off to the Blood Games to face the companions and "their throbbing Guardian Spears," the Emperor knew that Kitten secretly enjoyed his threats. He also couldn't deny that he had fantasies about "big, exotic crust-covered men come to take you away to the lands of a thousand volcano cannons exploding in your face."

Quotes Edit

  • "My lord, I will PERSONALLY, take my halberd, and go on a crusade to the Tau world myself, and I will shove it down the throats of every single one of their PATHETIC! FUCKING! HIDES! DROWNING THEM IN THEIR OWN BLOOD FOR YOU GLORY MY LORD!... SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH YOU TUBE OF DISCOUNTED KETCHUP!"
  • "I am not joining Chaos, you ass."
  • "THIS IS NOT FUCKING CANON!"
  • "I've always wanted to play Luigi board."
  • "The only fate I believe in is that of Mankind's prosperous future and dominance of the galaxy. One which need not be tempted - only proven to scum like you!"
  • "YOU LOT WANNA FOIT?! WE'LL BREAK INTO YA RELIQUARY, YA SCROWDER! GONNA TAKE ALL YOUR ARTIFACTS AND WEAR 'EM ABOUT! WE'RE GONNA TAKE YOUR ENGINE-THING! I'LL SLAP YOUR SHIT IN I SWEAR ON ME MUM! ME MUM WAS A TUBE!! A TUBE IN MOUNT-FUCKIN'-EVEREST! FUCK! MOM EVEREST!"

Gallery Edit

Team Emperor
The Emperor - Little Kitten - Magnus the Red - Rogal Dorn

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